Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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