I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize