I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
as a side note pls kill me
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