i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
