Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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