shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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