Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
