I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
