he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
