Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
