If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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