every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
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well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
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Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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