he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
