That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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