Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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