Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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