Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
