you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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