guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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