Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
