i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
