Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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