i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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