home. puking in laundry basket.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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