he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Randomize
