Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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