Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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