Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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