just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
