ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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