chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This is the high leading the old right now
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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