just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize