He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
