i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
