I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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