don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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