Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
