Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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