i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
