So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
