did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
