I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
