are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize