eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
