3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
