my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
