____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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