shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
smell my finger.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
