I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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