I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
