why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What a dumb baby whore.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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