He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
