yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
