Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
