I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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