pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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