He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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