I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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