I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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